Ans. Love (prema) vs Lust (kama)
You refer to the word "love'' several times in your life, but actual fact is there is no love in this material world. That is false propaganda. What they call "love'' here is lust only, desire for personal sense-gratification;

kama esa krodha esa, rajoguna samudbhavah,
maha-sano maha-papma, viddhy enam iha vairinam

The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: It is lust only, Arjuna, which is born of contact with the material mode of passion and later transformed into wrath, and which is the all-devouring sinful enemy of this world.

When a living entity comes in contact with the material creation, his eternal love for Krishna is transformed into lust, in association with the mode of passion. Or, in other words, the sense of love of God becomes transformed into lust, as milk in contact with sour tamarind is transformed into yogurt. Then again, when lust is unsatisfied, it turns into wrath; wrath is transformed into illusion, and illusion continues the material existence.

'' In the Vedic language, their word for materialistic "love'' as we call it at present day; "kama'' lust for material desire, not love. The word for love, actually love we find in Vedas is "prema'', meaning one's love of God, only. Outside God, there is no possibility of loving.

This material creation is a partial exhibition of the energy of the Lord, one-fourth of His energy. This material world is made of His material energy, and we are His marginal energy. But the other three-fourths of His energies are in the spiritual world, where Krishna exhibits only His spiritual energies. And when Krishna wants to enjoy, He enjoys loving affairs like those between a man and a woman.

Ans. Srila Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura explains that the mellow of the loving affairs between a man and a woman comes from the Supreme Person. Unless the loving propensity is there in the Supreme, how can it be reflected here? This material world is only a perverted reflection of the spiritual world, so the origin of the loving propensity must be there.

The impersonalistic, Mayavadi philosophers cannot understand the spiritual loving affairs of Radha and Krishna. Because they have bitter experience of the so-called loving affairs in this material world, they think the ultimate goal must be without personality or varieties (nirvisesa).

To clear away these false ideas, Kaviraja Gosvami says that while radha-Krishna prema, the loving affairs between Radha and Krishna, are factual—they are not imagination—these affairs are different from the so-called loving affairs we experience in this world.

That is to be understood. Don't be like the sahajiyas, who take Radha-Krishna prema to be just like ordinary lusty affairs in this material world. A verse in the Srimad-Bhagavatam states that the loving affairs of the gopis and Krishna in the rasa-lila are not an ordinary thing, and that if one can hear of them from the proper source and understand the real facts of the rasa-lila, then all the lusty desires in one's heart will vanish. There will be no more lusty desires. In other words, one will become dhira, calm and sober-minded.

Ans. Here in this material world everyone is adhira, agitated by lusty desires. But in the spiritual world everyone is dhira. They are not agitated by lusty desires. As long as we are agitated by lusty desires, we are in the material world. That is the test. As Yamunacarya says,

yad-avadhi mama cetaù Krishna-padaravinde
nava-nava-rasa-dhamany udyataà rantum asit
tad-avadhi bata nari-saìgame smaryamane
bhavati mukha-vikaraù susThu nisThivanaà ca

"Since I've been engaged in rendering more and more service to Krishna and getting spiritual pleasure, as soon as I think of sex life with a woman I immediately spit. I hate to think of it." This is the result of understanding the loving affairs between Radha and Krishna.

Kaviraja Gosvami explains that these affairs are a transformation of Krishna's hladini Sakti, His pleasure potency. The Supreme Lord has three primary spiritual potencies: sandhini, His existence potency; samvit, His knowledge potency; and hladini, His pleasure potency. The loving affairs of Radha and Krishna are a transformation of His pleasure potency.

These loving affairs have nothing to do with the so-called loving affairs of this material world, because Krishna is Parabrahman. In the Bhagavad-gita Krishna is described as Parabrahman. Arjuna says to Krishna, paraà brahma paraà dhama pavitraà paramaà bhavan: "You are the Supreme Brahman, the supreme abode and purifier." That is the declaration of Arjuna in the Bhagavad-gita, and we should accept it. This is the parampara system, the system of disciplic succession.

Ans. Therefore those who are thinking that Krishna enjoyed with the gopis as we enjoy in the company of many girls—such people are great fools. They have no knowledge. They're misled. Our affairs, being a perverted reflection, appear like the loving affairs of Radha and Krishna, but the reflection is different from the reality.

So we should not be misled; we should follow the teachings of Caitanya-caritamrta. We should understand that the loving affairs between Radha and Krishna are not like those between an ordinary boy and girl. And if we take Radha's and Krishna's loving affairs to be ordinary, we will be misled. Therefore the sahajiyas, those who believe that Krishna enjoys with ordinary girls, are very, very much misled.

We shouldn't be so foolish as to think we can be equal to Krishna. There is no competition for Krishna: na tat-samas cabhyadhikas ca drsyate. Nobody can be equal with Him, nobody can be greater than Him. That is Parabrahman; that is Krishna. In the Bhagavad-gita also, Krishna says, mattah parataram nanyat. "There is no entity superior to Me." We have to very carefully study Krishna.

Ans. Difference between Lust (kama) and Love (prema)

The desire to gratify one’s own senses is kama [lust], but the desire to please the senses of Lord Krishna is prema [love]. Cc. Adi lila 4.165

The predominated gopis were bound to Krishna in such pure love. For them there was no question of sexual love based on sense gratification. Their only engagement in life was to see Krishna happy in all respects, regardless of their own personal interests. They dedicated their souls only for the satisfaction of the Personality of Godhead, Sri Krishna. There was not the slightest tinge of sexual love between the gopis and Krishna. Cc. Adi lila 4.165 purport

The object of lust is only the enjoyment of one’s own senses. But love caters to the enjoyment of Lord Krishna, and thus it is very powerful. Cc. Adi lila 4.166

Social customs, scriptural injunctions, bodily demands, fruitive action, shyness, patience, bodily pleasures, self-gratification and the path of varëaSrama-dharma, which is difficult to give up—the gopis have forsaken all these, along with their families, and suffered their relatives’ punishment and scolding, all for the sake of serving Lord Krishna. They render loving service to Him for the sake of His enjoyment. Cc. Adi lila 4.167-169

Therefore lust and love are quite different. Lust is like dense darkness, but love is like the bright sun. Cc. Adi lila 4.170

Ans. That is described in the Caitanya-caritamrta. What is the difference between kama and prema... Prema is love, and kama is lust. It appears similar. In the material world, lust is going on in the name of love.

A boy loves a girl, a girl loves a boy, but actually the boy also wants sense gratification and the girls also want sense gratification. That is not love. As soon as there is any difficulty in sense gratification, immediately there is divorce. So there is no love. There is only lust. In the material world there is no love. Therefore Caitanya-caritamrta Kaja, the author of Caitanya-caritamrta, he has distinguished between love and lust. He says, atmendriya-priti-vaïcha tare nama kama [Cc. Adi 4.165]. When you want to satisfy your senses, that is called lust.

Krsnendriya-priti vancha dhare prema nama. When you want to satisfy the senses of Krishna, that is love. The prema is only possible in the spiritual world. The Nectar of Devotion, Vrndavana, October 28, 1972

Ans. Love (prema) in Goloka:

God comes to this material world in many incarnations to accept the service of His devotees and teach them how to return to Him. But the original name of God is Krishna, “the all-attractive one.

In His highest feature God, or Krishna, lives in the spiritual world, known as Goloka Vrndavana, and has loving relationships with His devotees in five ways:

(1) in neutrality, as one who is adored;

(2) in servitude, as one who is served with great awe and reverence;

(3) in friendship, in which He plays with boyfriends much as children play in this world;

(4) in parental affection, in which He becomes the loving child under the protective care of His devotees; and

(5) in conjugal love, in which He shares the most intimate reciprocation with His confidential devotees as lover or husband.

(This conjugal relationship is not the same as relationships in the material world. Since God is pure, His relationships also pure and untainted by lust.) by Caitanya-Rüpa-Devi Dasi, Back to Godhead Magazine # 23-07, 1988